There’s this onslaught of casual disregard, like the ease at which we can access each other has made it that much easier to discard one another. We’ve divided our days into the smallest increments of attention, making every second we spend outside propagating our own self-worth a fucking waste and it’s pathetic. People show up months, years later feeling entitled to some modicum of your time, because a modicum is all they were willing to spend to garner it. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck anyone who thinks that your time, your feelings, your life is something they can disregard.
Regard it. Regard their cowardice. Regard your self-worth.
Date By Numbers
But how do you remember that it doesn’t make you feel good? Well first of all, drink less.
Date By Numbers keeping it real as per usual (On Self-Judgment and What You Really Want)
I have conducted rigorous testing on this hypothesis. It is scientifically valid: Drinking less = less stories about that stuff you did because you were drinking BUT ALSO less tears and more feeling awesome about being you in general. There’s some other variables to consider and certainly outliers here and there but researchers tend to agree, drinking is generally why you did that thing that made you upset or sad or sorry.
The mountains loomed in the distance and I counted the scars on my legs, trying to remember every stumble. I had no course. I never did. But wherever it was I was going, I would get there. I would get there by playlists, by long rides, by plane tickets, by passion, by saying I love you, by standing up for myself, by doing what was wrong and then doing what was right, by doing what was selfish and then doing what was noble, I would get there.
I would get there and I would be fine. And then I would be good. And pretty soon after that, I would be lightning.
~ Date By Numbers
Today I woke up to sharp words from a person who has never once brought out the good in me. I’d wondered for nearly a year where the story would end and I finally found out this morning: at one of the highest points in southern California, my smile wide and integrity maintained.